Recently I was pondering on how I want to do so much more than I’m currently doing. There are great opportunities in my role at work where we can make a big impact. At home, there is much I want to do with my wife to raise our children. I feel I am happier than I have ever been in our marriage and yet I can see we can be even better and stronger. All of this combined with the fact that I believe there is more contribution inside of me that is not being shared with the world, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and feel out of balance. I find myself asking if I’m spending time on the things that really matter most.
In my recent read of Primary Greatness by Stephen R. Covey a passage jumped off the page for me. In this passage he is speaking to his daughter who is struggling with balance with all of her responsibilities while preparing for her wedding. He says:
Your life is going to be unbalanced for a time, and it should be, The long run is where you go for balance.
Stephen R Covey
My life is going to be unbalanced for a time and that is okay. I need to give myself grace. The time aperture is what makes the difference. The aperture in a photograph is a measure of how much light comes into the scene. If the aperture is small, less light enters into the lens. My time aperture has been too small. I am looking at days rather than widening my aperture to see what my balance looks like over months or years. I have set unrealistic expectations for myself.
Balance every day will not happen for me. Balance every week is difficult. Balance over months and years is critical.
Are you feeling imbalanced? Where is your time aperture?
To widen your time aperture and reset your own expectations consider the following:
- Write down a sentence or two that describes how you are feeling about everything you are juggling in your life.
- Are your expectations of yourself reasonable?
- Set a goal with reasonably timed milestones for each area of your life
When you do these three things you will be able to widen your time aperture and reset your own expectations to continue forward without carrying the guilt. You can give yourself grace.
