I love to teach and recently had the opportunity to visit and facilitate a college course at Wichita State University. The course was hosted by the Kansas Leadership Center. The curriculum is based on principles of Adaptive Leadership from Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky.
The definition of leadership shared in the course is:
Leadership is mobilizing yourself and others to make progress on _____________.
Before you can mobilize others to accomplish a wicked problem, you must mobilize yourself. This is not easy and there are always things that get in the way. Often these things are hidden and need to be uncovered before they can be addressed.
As a class we all went through a facilitated process that helped us identify our own hidden barriers to change.
It is most effective when you can slow down, answer as honestly as possible, and do not try to skip ahead or “cheat” the process. If you do, you will miss the impact of the exercise. Each step builds on the other so please do not shortchange the exercise. It is best done by a trained facilitator, but I found I could personally reflect on these steps and questions and get immense value from it.
Warm Up
Think of 5-6 individuals in your life that know you well. Ideally, they have your best interest in mind, are direct in their feedback, and come from various contexts of your life. Different life contexts could include family, work, and/or community.
Write their names down and next to each name write down what you believe they would say if you asked them – If I could get significantly better in one area to exercise leadership, what would it be?
You are not going to ask them this question (you could if you’d like) but this is a thought exercise to prime your mind for the subsequent steps.
Step 1 – Improvement Goal
Consider what these individuals might have said and then ask yourself the same question.
If I could get significantly better in one area to exercise leadership, what would it be?
Your answer should be something that you genuinely care about and an area in which you want to grow and are motivated to do so. Your answer will be your improvement goal.
Step 2 – Doing / Not Doing
List the actions / behaviors that work directly against (or undermine) your improvement goal. These include things you are doing or not doing that get in the way of your improvement goal.
My improvement goal is bringing my values to life through the way I work and live.
Here are some examples of actions / behaviors that work directly against my goal
- I am not sharing my values openly with others.
- I have not specified clear actions or behaviors that make those values come alive.
- I listen to what others think and expect of me and act on those expectations rather than setting expectations for myself first.
Step 3 – Competing (Hidden) Commitments
Draw a box on a sheet of paper and label the box your “worry box”. Inside this box write down all the things that you would worry would happen if you did the exact opposite of what you wrote in step 2.
Example:
- I am not sharing my values openly with others — I worry my values that I consider special will be mocked or not respected
- I have not specified clear actions or behaviors that make those values come alive. — I worry that when I identify those behaviors I won’t actually do them.
Now you will write a statement for each of the items in your worry box that follows this pattern.
I am committed to never [worry].
Example:
- I am committed to never having my values be mocked or disrespected
- I am committed to never changing my behavior
These “I am committed to never” statements should feel gross and like you do not like them written down. It feels incredibly vulnerable for me to even share these example statements. These statements are the competing or hidden commitments that you and I are holding onto that are getting in the way of our improvement goal.
Step 4 – Big Assumptions
Now we need to get at the big assumptions that are behind these worries and hidden commitments.
Follow the template for each of your competing commitments from step 3.
I assume if I [opposite of competing commitment] then [what I assume will happen or be the result].
Example:
- I assume if my values are mocked or disrespected then my worth as a person is diminished.
- I assume if I change my behavior, I will do it wrong and those who love and care about me will lose respect or care for me.
Step 5 – Design an Experiment
Finally, it is time to create an experiment (or multiple experiments) to test these big assumptions. What we want to do is design an experiment that takes the emotion out of it and allows us to collect data to help us better understand what may be preventing us from changing.
Example:
My assumption is that if my values are mocked or disrespected then my work as a person is diminished. The experiment I will run is to share my values in public with both those I care about and those I don’t have a relationship with yet and see how I feel. I’m looking for any evidence that would suggest that 1) my values are being mocked or disrespected and 2) that I feel less of less worth.
The results of your experiment will help you to build confidence in facing your hidden commitments head on and pushing towards your improvement goal.
Try this out and please share with me how it felt and what you learned here.
