Lately I have been making an extra effort to strengthen my professional relationships. Talking to friends and rekindling relationships has revealed to me a tension I feel.
If I allow someone to see my weakness, then I will not be trusted.
The reality is this just is not true. The truth is illustrated in the virtuous cycle taught to me by my friend Simon Lamb.
If I send a signal of vulnerability to someone it is received as “I believe I am safe with you” and then gives the individual courage and permission to send a signal of vulnerability back. I then I choose to believe that I am safe with that person, and I continue to be willing to send signals of vulnerability.
I trust those I work with more when I feel they have been vulnerable with me, and I can be vulnerable with them. I am learning the value of this virtuous cycle and believe everything I dream of can be accomplished more quickly with people in my network that I trust.
Are you afraid to be vulnerable? Experiment with a friend or colleague that you feel comfortable with. You will find the relationship deepen and it can give you confidence to experiment with others who you are not as comfortable with.
