This week I listened as leaders shared deep core fears they hold. There were fears of not belonging, not being loved. Fears not being safe or secure. Fears of rejection and judgment. As we discussed these fears and wrestled with them insights started to emerge.
The fears that they carry are getting in the way of the next best action they need to take to make progress in their life. The fear is driving their behavior.
This has happened to me. I have a fear of letting my parents down or not making them proud. My siblings tease all the time that I am the “favorite” child of the six children. This teasing comes because I have worked all my life to live right by them. My behavior has shaped who I am to date but I realize now there is a ceiling. If I only do what I feel will be accepted by my parents, I end up living smaller and ironically the likelihood of me letting them down goes up.
This is not what my parents would want. This is not what I want for my children. Fear should not be driving my behavior but rather my purpose and meaning in life should drive my behavior.
When I get that right I can build on the greatness from those around me and build a stronger and greater future.
Being driven by fear is a common phenomenon so I have a challenge / activity for you.
- Write down what do you fear most in life. (I came up with 20-30 items in about 15 minutes. Some will be silly and others will be serious and deeper)
- Bucket and label those fears into themes. What do these fears have in common? What is at the core?
- Single out the “biggest” theme (mine this time was the fear of judgment) and write down one thing you will do today (as a habit) to help you let go of that fear.
I’d love to hear how this goes for you!
