Seth Godin has attributed his success to the fact that he has failed more than anyone he knows. If you don’t know Seth Godin, he has been writing daily on his blog since 2002 and is one of the leading thinkers of our time.
When I heard him share this idea in a podcast I listened to, it made me think of something that wasn’t immediately obvious to me.
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This week I listened as leaders shared deep core fears they hold. There were fears of not belonging, not being loved. Fears not being safe or secure. Fears of rejection and judgment. As we discussed these fears and wrestled with them insights started to emerge.
The fears that they carry are getting in the way of the next best action they need to take to make progress in their life. The fear is driving their behavior.
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This week we delivered an event designed to help leaders dig deep into who they are, why they work and how they can use that as a filter for making decisions.
The experience is deeply impactful and for some life changing. One of the things I learned this week is about our orientation in leadership.
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At Microsoft we have implemented a habit called the “check in”. This habit consists of two primary questions “what am I feeling?” and “what might be distracting me?”
Often, we include a third question, but it always changes depending on the context and owner of the meeting.
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Nearly a year ago I wrote about finding your purpose and I have iterated on my own and even have a stronger frame in which I would create a purpose statement.
My new purpose statement is this
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To celebrate our most recent wedding anniversary, my wife and I hiked The Narrows at Zion National Park. It is a beautiful hike in a slot canyon through a shallow river. Depending on when you go the clarity of the river water can vary from clear to opaque. What makes the water opaque is the dirt and sand that has washed into the river. When we hiked The Narrows, the water was opaque. With each step it was a mystery to know what would come next. The bottom of the riverbed has various depths (from a few inches to a few feet) and various terrains (from soft sand to large uneven river rocks) making each step its own unique challenge.
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Sometimes you meet those people who distill information down in such a way that it feels obvious. One day I hope to be one of those people.
Recently in a conversation with leaders we were talking about resistance to change and one of the leaders had a formula that resonated with me.
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In my backyard I have two trees that are young and still seeking to take strong hold in the desert.
At the bottom of the tree were little saplings that looked very healthy. They were present early in the springtime as little buds and by the time I did anything about them it was nearly a whole tree by itself at the root of the trunk.
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This week I had a conversation with a colleague that helped me uncover a blind spot I had. I have been studying and thinking about what I have been calling “purpose driven leadership”.
The concept is this. When you do the hard internal and personal work of why you are here on the planet you have discovered your purpose. This is much larger than just one area of your life. It encompasses all that you must contribute to the world.
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Sometimes when having a conversation with a leader you get a nugget of wisdom that changes the way you think. Charlotte Yarkoni did this for me recently.
I asked Charlotte a question that went like this; the last few years have been full of uncertainty, what have you done to create clarity for your team and organization?
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I teach and invite people to act. Proud husband, father and amateur pizzaiolo