Last week I attended a Growth Summit and connected with one of my good friends who has run a 200-mile race. I have always been in awe of her ability to run that race – the physical endurance required seems virtually inhuman. The even more challenging part of training she told me was the mental training. Then in the context of both physical and mental growth she shared the following formula.
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Several months ago, I learned about an organization that serves individuals whose lives are impacted by the effects of OCD, anxiety, and other forms of mental illness. The challenges these people face are very real and, unlike physical illness, are often unseen. The things they teach are based in psychology and are meaningful and impactful to all. One of the tools is a distress tolerance skill called “radical acceptance” which helps us when we experience pain.
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My Dad came into town for his 64th birthday, mostly to see the grandkids, and we shared a meal and asked him – what do you want to do with your time when you retire?
As would any good grandfather (I think), his first answer was to spend more time with his kids and grandkids and create and share memories with them. After dessert was done and the kids ran off to play we probed him on a deeper answer.
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Recently I was pondering on how I want to do so much more than I’m currently doing. There are great opportunities in my role at work where we can make a big impact. At home, there is much I want to do with my wife to raise our children. I feel I am happier than I have ever been in our marriage and yet I can see we can be even better and stronger. All of this combined with the fact that I believe there is more contribution inside of me that is not being shared with the world, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and feel out of balance. I find myself asking if I’m spending time on the things that really matter most.
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I have come to discover that I enjoy uplifting and powerful musicals. Near where I live there is a small community theater that rotates popular musicals and my wife and I took our kids to The Sound of Music. I will say without shame that I love that musical and hope my kids will come to learn to appreciate the arts, music, and the amazing talent required to pull off these productions.
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A few years ago my wife and I had a conversation about a family motto that was inspired by the book How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton Christensen. In the book Clayton shares a motto they had as a family to build and strengthen their family culture – Christensens are kind. Simple and easy to remember.
The motto we have for the Nicholls family is:
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You may be like me where some days you get to the end of the day and you think – what have I accomplished? What good have I done? Did I spend my time on the right things? There are no easy answers to these questions. I wish there was a formula to follow but it is not that simple because everyone has a different life which means the measures of a meaningful and impactful life are different for each person on the planet.
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As we walked up the hill, the sun was at the point of setting and shadows of empty chair lifts stretched across the lawn and families that had gathered on the hill. Nearly everyone was wearing patriotic colors of red, white, and blue. The Utah Symphony warmed up their instruments as we found our own patch of grass on the Deer Valley resort hill. Surrounded by families with their coolers, lawn chairs, and picnics it felt truly American.
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In the early days of powered transportation there was a practical limit to speed. This practical limit existed because there was no reliable way to slow down. Safety, or protecting what matters most, was also a critical reason for not passing this practical limit of speed. After a reliable brake system was created, a system designed to slow a vehicle, the speed of vehicles increased and the safety of the passengers at those speeds also improved.
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A few weeks ago, my wife visited a doctor who, as part of the diagnosis, prescribed 3 months of the keto diet to replenish and reset enzymes in her liver that will appropriately regulate glucose in her body. This typically means one must eat 30 to 50 grams of total carbohydrates a day. This prescription requires my wife eat a total of 15 grams of carbohydrates each day. This is intense and very difficult. She is executing brilliantly and with a good attitude – she’s climbing a hard mountain and making tremendous progress.
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I teach and invite people to act. Proud husband, father and amateur pizzaiolo