What do you say to someone who has recently lost someone they care deeply about? I can think of five different individuals that were close or very close to my wife and I and we have always struggled to know the right thing to say and the right thing to do.
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A few weeks ago, I was in the home of a man with many talents. Carl can fix just about anything with his hands and is incredibly talented in music. By every measure I can think of, he is a leader. I learned something that day that still sticks with me.
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Recently I was pondering on how I want to do so much more than I’m currently doing. There are great opportunities in my role at work where we can make a big impact. At home, there is much I want to do with my wife to raise our children. I feel I am happier than I have ever been in our marriage and yet I can see we can be even better and stronger. All of this combined with the fact that I believe there is more contribution inside of me that is not being shared with the world, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and feel out of balance. I find myself asking if I’m spending time on the things that really matter most.
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I have come to discover that I enjoy uplifting and powerful musicals. Near where I live there is a small community theater that rotates popular musicals and my wife and I took our kids to The Sound of Music. I will say without shame that I love that musical and hope my kids will come to learn to appreciate the arts, music, and the amazing talent required to pull off these productions.
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A few years ago my wife and I had a conversation about a family motto that was inspired by the book How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton Christensen. In the book Clayton shares a motto they had as a family to build and strengthen their family culture – Christensens are kind. Simple and easy to remember.
The motto we have for the Nicholls family is:
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You may be like me where some days you get to the end of the day and you think – what have I accomplished? What good have I done? Did I spend my time on the right things? There are no easy answers to these questions. I wish there was a formula to follow but it is not that simple because everyone has a different life which means the measures of a meaningful and impactful life are different for each person on the planet.
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As we walked up the hill, the sun was at the point of setting and shadows of empty chair lifts stretched across the lawn and families that had gathered on the hill. Nearly everyone was wearing patriotic colors of red, white, and blue. The Utah Symphony warmed up their instruments as we found our own patch of grass on the Deer Valley resort hill. Surrounded by families with their coolers, lawn chairs, and picnics it felt truly American.
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I have been thinking about this post for a long time because I want to learn and “get it right” so I can put out into the world something I feel is meaningful.
This is not the “right” version but a first draft. I hope if you read this you are willing to reach out and help me to be better in my thinking.
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Junior high was a dark time for me in my life. I was young, didn’t feel confident in who I was, and was desperate to fit in and feel like I had friends. I felt depressed. Who I thought I should be was wildly different than what was being taught in my home. I was confused and frustrated.
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At Microsoft, the fiscal year ends June 30th. This typically means there is a mad rush to get all work done before the end of the month so we can realize expenses in the month and year that they happened. This year I have had not only my standard projects that need to be completed before the end of June, but I also have a new project at work, and we are working as a family to get into a home which has a potential move-in date of July 1.
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I teach and invite people to act. Proud husband, father and amateur pizzaiolo