This week I listened as leaders shared deep core fears they hold. There were fears of not belonging, not being loved. Fears not being safe or secure. Fears of rejection and judgment. As we discussed these fears and wrestled with them insights started to emerge.
The fears that they carry are getting in the way of the next best action they need to take to make progress in their life. The fear is driving their behavior.
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Research done by Princeton psychologists Janine Willis and Alexander Todorov states that it takes no longer than 100 milliseconds to form an impression of a stranger from their face.
Within a tenth of a second we are making judgments and forming first impressions. We are judgment making machines.
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Recently I had the privilege to listen to Satya Nadella speak to a small group of leaders at Microsoft and there was a question Satya was asked about how leaders can step up to the challenges that are ahead of us as leaders. His answer was full of wisdom.
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I am afraid to be judged. I am afraid to do what I need to do to achieve my potential. I am afraid I will not be able to provide for my family. I am afraid I will go all in and not find the success I am looking for. This fear of failure is getting in the way of the progress I need to make. I know all of this, and I still struggle to do what needs to be done.
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My Dad has always been someone I look up to and aspire to be like. In our home he was always constant. The world may be crashing around us and he would be calm, optimistic, and always emotionally stable and strong.
Naturally, I want to be like him, and I modelled my behavior after him. When I feel an emotion I do not like, I have trained my brain to look for the good. I consider this one of my superpowers and it has served me well in my life.
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I teach and invite people to act. Proud husband, father and amateur pizzaiolo