The year of 2023 was my year to focus on living a healthy life. At the beginning of 2023 I decided a healthy life consisted of several buckets. Alongside each bucket, I documented my intention. Below you will find my buckets, intentions, and learnings/reflections.
Not documented in my post last year were the measurements that I was using to track my progress on these buckets. About halfway through the year I stopped tracking my progress. This happened for two reasons.
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Personal and professional growth is found in discomfort. There is no growth without pushing on our edges and leaning to spaces where we currently do not have competence or capability.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, where I go to church, there are opportunities to serve for each of the members. All of the service is voluntary and can take many forms from teaching, to leadership, to working with toddlers. Recently I was asked to be the Primary Music Leader. This person is responsible for teaching kids ages 3-11 songs each week and helping to organize a program where the kids can then sing these songs for the congregation.
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Personal and organizational growth is difficult. Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written on the topic and we have yet to crack the code. I do not pretend to have cracked the code, but I found a pattern that is worth exploring.
Physical, emotional, and mental growth all follow the same pattern.
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I love to teach and recently had the opportunity to visit and facilitate a college course at Wichita State University. The course was hosted by the Kansas Leadership Center. The curriculum is based on principles of Adaptive Leadership from Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky.
The definition of leadership shared in the course is:
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Recently my family and I went hiking with some friends through a slot canyon. I carried our one-year-old in a backpack. The hike was less than three miles and had a small elevation gain. This sounded like the perfect hike for our kids who are out of hiking shape.
A few days prior to our hike there had been a large rainstorm. This meant that the hike, rather than being a dry riverbed, had a small stream with running water. This made the hike beautiful and fun. As we hiked, the water became deeper, and it was progressively more difficult to cross the river without getting wet.
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A little over a month ago my wife and I heard a crash just down the hall. Our 13-month-old son had managed to find the cord to the crock pot plugged into the counter and tugged on it just enough that the contents of the crockpot fell on him and the floor. My son sustained severe burns and we spent the following three weeks in the hospital with him as he healed.
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Several months ago, I learned about an organization that serves individuals whose lives are impacted by the effects of OCD, anxiety, and other forms of mental illness. The challenges these people face are very real and, unlike physical illness, are often unseen. The things they teach are based in psychology and are meaningful and impactful to all. One of the tools is a distress tolerance skill called “radical acceptance” which helps us when we experience pain.
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My Dad came into town for his 64th birthday, mostly to see the grandkids, and we shared a meal and asked him – what do you want to do with your time when you retire?
As would any good grandfather (I think), his first answer was to spend more time with his kids and grandkids and create and share memories with them. After dessert was done and the kids ran off to play we probed him on a deeper answer.
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Recently I was pondering on how I want to do so much more than I’m currently doing. There are great opportunities in my role at work where we can make a big impact. At home, there is much I want to do with my wife to raise our children. I feel I am happier than I have ever been in our marriage and yet I can see we can be even better and stronger. All of this combined with the fact that I believe there is more contribution inside of me that is not being shared with the world, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and feel out of balance. I find myself asking if I’m spending time on the things that really matter most.
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I am afraid to be judged. I am afraid to do what I need to do to achieve my potential. I am afraid I will not be able to provide for my family. I am afraid I will go all in and not find the success I am looking for. This fear of failure is getting in the way of the progress I need to make. I know all of this, and I still struggle to do what needs to be done.
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I teach and invite people to act. Proud husband, father and amateur pizzaiolo