Personal and organizational growth is difficult. Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written on the topic and we have yet to crack the code. I do not pretend to have cracked the code, but I found a pattern that is worth exploring.
Physical, emotional, and mental growth all follow the same pattern.
We experience discomfort and/or pain where we are vulnerable and challenging our vulnerabilities is required for growth.
Here are three examples of where I have or am currently challenging my vulnerabilities so that I can grow.
Physical
This year I have run 12 miles a week every week to stay in shape. Recently I started to do pushups at the end of my runs to care for my upper body. I had not been engaging the muscles required for a well performed pushup so after doing it the first few times my muscles were very sore. This pain and soreness is evidence to me that I am getting stronger. Without challenging my physical vulnerabilities, my muscles could not be strengthened.
Emotional
Emotionally I consider myself strong but found a vulnerability, an area for growth, that I need to push on. I find tremendous joy in making my wife and my children happy. I will sacrifice much of my own pleasures and time for their happiness. In moderation this is wonderful but in excess it is potentially damaging. On a recent date, my wife asked me what I wanted to make me happy. My answers involved making my wife or children happy and doing something for them. I had lost sight of what makes me happy, independent of any other person. I have not yet figured this out and it is my emotional vulnerability. I must challenge it if I want to grow.
Mental or Intellectual
I am stepping into a space at work where my boundaries are being pushed in terms of my intellectual capacity. It feels uncomfortable, approaching painful, to have my vulnerabilities exposed to my colleagues as I work on a highly visible project. My intentional response is to lean into this discomfort and learn through it so I can grow.
This pattern holds true for me. Try mapping it to your experience. Write down areas in which you have felt physical, emotional, and mental pain. In what ways did that pain lead to growth?
As human beings, our default response is to move away from discomfort or pain. My invitation and challenge to you is to identify your areas of growth and intentionally move towards the pain so you can grow.
