A little over a month ago my wife and I heard a crash just down the hall. Our 13-month-old son had managed to find the cord to the crock pot plugged into the counter and tugged on it just enough that the contents of the crockpot fell on him and the floor. My son sustained severe burns and we spent the following three weeks in the hospital with him as he healed.
Both my wife and I were on pure adrenaline for the three weeks of our hospital stay. We were doing everything we could to help our boy be comfortable and heal. We have been (and continue to be) loved and supported. We witnessed miracles that humble the soul. That humbling has caused deep reflection.
The nurses and doctors educated us on several things to prepare us to return to our home and continue our son’s care. What I did not expect was the emotional “crash” that happened when we returned. For several days all I wanted to do was numb. That numbing took the form of scrolling social media feeds and being disengaged from most everything. This high emotional contrast has revealed a massive learning opportunity for me.
Months ago, I wrote about giving myself permission to feel. I have not done a good job at this. The trauma from this event for me, my wife, and my son has resulted in me closing up rather than opening up to the feelings. This is preventing me from learning, growing, and connecting.
I am still uncovering what I am feeling and to look at those feelings without judgement. This is hard and counter to the way I have grown to become who I am today. I will continue to actively write down my feelings and see if I can find a way to become an even better version of myself.
My invitation to you is to find something that is hard for you and look at it in the face and do something about it. In that thing, there is great learning and growth. It should not take a traumatic experience to get you (or me) to become our best selves.
